Nazim Hikmet
(1902, Salonica - June 3, 1963, Moscow) |
|
YASAMAYA DAIR 1 Yasamak sakaya gelmez, büyük bir ciddiyetle yasayacaksin bir sincap gibi mesela, yani, yasamanin disinda ve ötesinde hiçbir sey beklemeden, yani bütün isin gücün yasamak olacak. Yasamayi ciddiye alacaksin, yani o derecede, öylesine ki, mesela, kollarin bagli arkadan, sirtin duvarda, yahut kocaman gözlüklerin, beyaz gömleginle bir laboratuvarda insanlar için ölebileceksin, hem de yüzünü bile görmedigin insanlar için, hem de hiç kimse seni buna zorlamamisken, hem de en güzel en gerçek seyin yasamak oldugunu bildigin halde. Yani, öylesine ciddiye alacaksin ki yasamayi, yetmisinde bile, mesela, zeytin dikeceksin, hem de öyle çocuklara falan kalir diye degil, ölmekten korktugun halde ölüme inanmadigin için, yasamak yani agir bastigindan. 1947 2 Diyelim ki, agir ameliyatlik hastayiz, yani, beyaz masadan, bir daha kalkmamak ihtimali de var. Duymamak mümkün degilse de biraz erken gitmenin kederini biz yine de gülecegiz anlatilan Bektasi fikrasina, hava yagmurlu mu, diye bakacagiz pencereden, yahut da sabirsizlikla bekleyecegiz en son ajans haberlerini. Diyelim ki, dövüsülmeye deger bir seyler için, diyelim ki, cephedeyiz. Daha orda ilk hücumda, daha o gün yüzükoyun kapaklanip ölmek de mümkün. Tuhaf bir hinçla bilecegiz bunu, fakat yine de çildirasiya merak edecegiz belki yillarca sürecek olan savasin sonunu. Diyelim ki hapisteyiz, yasimiz da elliye yakin, daha da on sekiz sene olsun açilmasina demir kapinin. Yine de disariyla birlikte yasayacagiz, insanlari, hayvanlari, kavgasi ve rüzgariyla yani, duvarin ardindaki disariyla. Yani, nasil ve nerede olursak olalim hiç ölünmeyecekmis gibi yasanacak... 1948 3 Bu dünya soguyacak, yildizlarin arasinda bir yildiz, hem de en ufaciklarindan, mavi kadifede bir yaldiz zerresi yani, yani bu koskocaman dünyamiz. Bu dünya soguyacak günün birinde, hatta bir buz yigini yahut ölü bir bulut gibi de degil, bos bir ceviz gibi yuvarlanacak zifiri karanlikta uçsuz bucaksiz. Simdiden çekilecek acisi bunun, duyulacak mahzunlugu simdiden. Böylesine sevilecek bu dünya "Yasadim" diyebilmen için... Nazim Hikmet Subat 1948 |
ABOUT LIVING I Living is no laughing matter: you must live with great seriousness like a squirrel, for example- I mean without looking for something beyond and above living, I mean living must be your whole occupation. Living is no laughing matter: you must take it seriously, so much so and to such a degree that, for example, your hands tied behind your back, your back to the wall, or else in a laboratory in your white coat and safety glasses, you can die for people- even for people whose faces you've never seen, even though you know living is the most real, the most beautiful thing. I mean, you must take living so seriously that even at seventy, for example, you'll plant olive trees- and not for your children, either, but because although you fear death you don't believe it, because living, I mean, weighs heavier. II Let's say you're seriously ill, need surgery - which is to say we might not get from the white table. Even though it's impossible not to feel sad about going a little too soon, we'll still laugh at the jokes being told, we'll look out the window to see it's raining, or still wait anxiously for the latest newscast ... Let's say we're at the front- for something worth fighting for, say. There, in the first offensive, on that very day, we might fall on our face, dead. We'll know this with a curious anger, but we'll still worry ourselves to death about the outcome of the war, which could last years. Let's say we're in prison and close to fifty, and we have eighteen more years, say, before the iron doors will open. We'll still live with the outside, with its people and animals, struggle and wind- I mean with the outside beyond the walls. I mean, however and wherever we are, we must live as if we will never die. III This earth will grow cold, a star among stars and one of the smallest, a gilded mote on blue velvet- I mean this, our great earth. This earth will grow cold one day, not like a block of ice or a dead cloud even but like an empty walnut it will roll along in pitch-black space ... You must grieve for this right now -you have to feel this sorrow now- for the world must be loved this much if you're going to say ``I lived'' ... Nazim Hikmet February, 1948
|